i am hopeless...

Scattered pieces of a broken soul,
How to recollect, need some reconstruction.
I feel my life, so out of control.
Does anyone have any advice, some form of instruction?

How did this make me feel so utterly worthless?
So demeaned in my very own eyes.
I didn't think I'd be so damn speechless,
That moment...that moment..

I walk alone today,
Wishing I did not have this emptiness,
Just praying that soon will come a better day.
So many feelings I never got to express.

red is in the air...

i am sooooo into red...i love everything about red.. some chinese said red is Ong! and wiki defines red color as symbolizes: action, confidence, courage, vitality.


so theme for my personal inventory list is red.. from shoe, phone, purse, bags, sweater, shirt and previous jazz too..almost everything..and best part is my kids love red too..

and the most recent things which i really fall in love with.. also red in color and i am so-so-so in love with this little bug! it's like love at first sight and i love each and every inch of it.. hopefully she will be mine forever, peacefully..coincident with Iman's request, she made a special request few days ago for another red ones!so here goes my next buddy, honey, sweetheart..

p/s: this is my valentine's gift!

darlings, happy valentine's day...

this heart is specially dedicated to darling hubby

miss u, miss u lotss..

and love u..

Happy Valentine's Day..

and to princess Iman & princess Ilham too... 

I love you all the most!

Ilham is 3 today!

I am glad to write about this beautiful little girl of mine.. Ilham bt Ahmad Zaki. She's 3 yrs old today.. 

Happy birthday dear... don't cry again, mommy will come back soon i finish this course.. all i can do now is talking to u thru the phone, skype and doa for ur good health and be happy. 

” Ya Allah, panjangkanlah umur anak kami ini, terangilah hatinya, teguhkanlah imannya, bagusilah amal perbuatannya, lapangkan rezkinya, dekatkanlah menuju kebaikan, jauhkanlah dari keburukan.

Ya Allah, kabulkanlah doa kami ini, agar anak kami menjadi anak yang soleh dan soleha, yang senantiasa taat kepadaMu dan berbakti kepada kedua orang tuanya”

Amin ya rabbal ‘Alamin

new year new resolution

happy 2010 everyone.. and wish for a more prosperous and most successful year ahead..

crossing the Irish sea...

belfast - wicklow - dublin - cork - dublin - belfast! been there done that! within 3 days and i am exhausted now. The journey was a mix of great but challenging. Only 2 of us - Ed and me whom finally made the trip to Ireland tour we called it.. Got lost and found everywhere due to poor signage. Thanks for tomtom Cik Ed which saved us too!

It was raining heavily in that sheepy island! all day raining and wet.. and we drove from county to county starting from Belfast City Airport towards Dublin and our final destination was Cork where my niece stayed! Thanks Ja & friends for nice stay at ur house!

But, the best part of it, the picturesque along the journey was really great with untouchable green fields over the slopes of the hills. It was like you are looking at paintings! it was there, the scenery was great! and i knew if my late father's still around, he might love this kind of places too.  

Pictures will be uploaded soon once i got it from Ed. My Sony gone haywire already!

where to next??